i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
