So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
