the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
