wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
