did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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