You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
