You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
