no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
