I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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