I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
