You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
So vagazzling was a success
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