A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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