yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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