I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
