Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I'm at about main and main street
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
