We won't sleep together?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
