and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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