Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
