My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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