Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
