You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
