Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
we're so committed to being not committed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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