Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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