soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
