508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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