Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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