i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
