Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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