It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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