I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
