I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
