so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
