just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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