Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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