Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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