Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
