Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
