So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
