it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
