...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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