omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
