I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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