I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
