i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
