she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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