Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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