it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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