Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
