I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
