just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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