he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
