she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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