So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
