genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
