I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
