we're blogging at a bar
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
