he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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